i ended work thinking i could spend more then 15mins with him..unlike the past few days..
i hardly heard or spoke to him.

other then working with him in california fitness last time..this can be counted as my first part time job..
i feel so demoralized everytime he says he cant make it..to even visit once..
tomorrow is my last day at work le.

he passed his tp..
he ever told me..tat when he passed..he would like me to be the first one he'd drive..
but when he did..the only thing running thru his mind is driving his dad's car..wadeva he said before is all history.

why do these kind of things bother me so much? why does it hurt so much?
can someone tell me..

i want to quote this whole para from one of my fren's blog. i feel the exact same way.

'sometimes, i wake up and am amazed at how deeply i've fallen for someone that regardless of the situation, i'll always have his back and have excuses for him. its not necessarily a good thing but its the stability that i treasure the most. we're probably the most eccentric and complicated couple that most people know. theres constant drama, we yell at each other all the time and we spend so much time bickering and complaining about one another. BUT, at the end of the day, we still stick together because its in each other that we find comfort and solace. maybe its the insecurity of being left alone, of breaking a bridge that has been build over the years months or days, no matter how flimsy it seems. a bridge is still a bridge. so i'm taking this time to glorify my a-okay life and relationship. to recognize that once again, despite all the bullshit that had happened, i have the person i love in my life, things are generally going as planned and therefore, i am okay.'

i realise tt i'm already my boyfriend's marketing manager and promoter..cos i'm always talking abt him..
it comes natural..

and. many ppl have told me tt i seem to have short term memory..i keep repeating wadeva i've said before..
well...maybe i have..i dunno.

i learn many things while working these few days..
as i'm doing promotion..i've got to go out..smile smile..explain my company's things and stuffs..
there are people who are freaking rude. act like tai tai or some king. kns. ppl give them flyer or wad, they jus look at u and walk away.
u know the worst one i met, did this.
ME: Hi =) hotel management?
THE FREAK(male): Don't talk to me. Go away.
and i still had to smile. fucker.
we're not freaking beggers u know? the 6 of us went thru some bloody interview and got chosen out of 40 ppl. we stand for 9hrs straight everyday explaining and promoting.
at most jus say dun wan la! go away. go away. u go to hell la go away.

tats not the worse yet.
its really infuriating to know tt our boss cheats us.
on the very first day, we worked an extra half an hour..but he say..he wont pay us the money for the extra half hour. all of us closed one eye..
after tt..becos of $100 commission for each customer who signs up, he starts to steal potential customers tt we 6 find. can u imgaine. i confirm had one alreadi lor. he wanted to pursue his masters degree and was willing to sign up with the school alreadi. but my frekaing boss took this customer's particulars and claimed it to be his own. WTF rite?

our boss is also commission based. cos he is hired by ORION hotel school to hire US.so in other words, he's pay is earned by stealing our customers so we wont get commission.

urgh. hate this scheme. IRRITATING. and bloody hell. everyday gotta wear a cap -.- its supposed to keep my hair up..but instead its blocking my view majority of the time. haix..

ok. gotta sleep..tmr gotta stand another 9hrs..haix..